


Bittersweet

by blxnchett



Category: Carol (2015), The Price of Salt - Patricia Highsmith
Genre: Angst, Drama, Eventual Smut, F/F, Family Fluff, Fluff, Fluff and Smut, Lesbian Sex, Romance, Smut
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-08-03
Updated: 2020-08-04
Packaged: 2021-03-06 02:35:27
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 2
Words: 2,695
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/25695907
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/blxnchett/pseuds/blxnchett
Summary: After the Oak Room, Carol realizes that Therese was changed. But no matter how much the young lady tried to hide it, she still loved Carol too much to forget.
Relationships: Carol Aird & Therese Belivet, Carol Aird/Therese Belivet
Comments: 8
Kudos: 81





	1. 1

**Author's Note:**

> English is not my first language so, in advance, I'm so sorry for any mistake. Hope you understand and enjoy this story

"Therese?!"

"Not here. Please." the young brunette answered firmly and turned around making her way out of the restaurant again. Her whole body was burning and aching as though all of her cells and molecules were colliding to each other, craving for Carol. Craving for forgiveness, relief and love. Because no matter how much she tried to lie to herself while the blonde was out of her life, she still loved Carol. Maybe since the first time they met.

"There's a friend of mine outside whom I need to see urgently" Carol managed her best excuse to her friends. She took out of her purse fifty dollars and left it on the table. "I need to go, I'm sorry. I see you later, I'm sorry" and then started to walk fast, her legs making large steps to the exit. Her lungs were burning, her chest expanding non stop when she saw Therese's back out in the sidewalk. The young lady smoking a cigarette completely aware of Carol coming behind her. "Oh, dear, you came!"

"We need to talk." Therese said before taking a drag. "You're driving tonight?"

"No"

"So let's take a cab"

Carol didn't want to expose how she was affected by Therese's presence because the woman was apparently indifferent. Still the same Therese she loved but more mature now. Unhesitant. A little... cold?

The ride was quick and quiet and they agreed silently that they were going to have this conversation at Carol's apartment, and the blonde tried not to create expectations on it because she wasn't certain if Therese coming to see her meant what she thought it would. "It can't be that easy", Carol thought. "She's completely changed and I'm failed. She's not staying with me just because I returned after months and asked her to". And it hurt to think that maybe Therese didn't want to be with her anymore, because now that she lost her daughter, Therese and Abby were everything she had. They sat next to each other in the back seats but didn't touch each other or talked to each other. When they finally got to Carol's home, the blonde was shaking to the bones trying to open the door and missing the door lock a couple times. Therese noticed that the woman she loved was panicking, hyperventilating, and there was nothing she could do about because she didn't feel like they were intimate anymore. When they entered the room, her lungs sank because the entire living room smelled like Carol, intoxicating her, making her senses numb. Carol hanged her coat and invited the young lady to sit on the couch without using a word. Their eyes locked and Therese started panting, sitting and waiting to the blonde to come closer.

"You want something to drink?"

"If I drink something now, I will probably swallow everything I rehearsed to say" Therese said smiling nervously.

"I see" the older lady was worried.

A brief silence hung over them when Therese found the courage but the words ran away, it seemed like nothing mattered anymore.

"I love you" she said softly, when realized that she didn't answer anything when Carol declared her love at the Ritz Tower. "I didn't say nothing earlier today but I do love you" she sighed. The blonde raised her hand and stroked Therese's chin, left ear, left eyebrow. They were so close to each other on the sofa now that the younger one felt suffocating with Carol's perfume and warmth — not in a bad way. "I understand your reasons, my dear, but I didn't agree with your manners. And that is why I'm hurt. Because you were right when you wrote me that letter and, yes, I looked for explanations every single day after your leaving. But we could have gone through it all together"

"You are right" Carol said. "I knew it later"

"I'm glad you did"

"You're changed"

"Yes. Yes I am" Therese said, touching the blonde's hand, tracing circles on her palm. "And so are you. And that's not bad. We're changed. I haven't heard from you in a while but I can imagine you've been through a lot. It is natural"

Carol was marvelled. Everything came full circle and Therese was definitely wiser than before. Maybe wiser than she was herself. Carol felt proud of her young lover. Her heart warmed. "There was never a choice, you know that, don't you?"

"I always knew", Therese answered. "As I said, I understand your reasons, Carol, and I would never question them"

"Do you trust me?"

"I'm trying"

Therese's cheekbones were thin. She was still blushing after every spoken word as she used to, but her gestures, her posture, her way to talk, were more mature. She was still exuding youth but Carol knew she was not a naive young woman anymore. She thought that maybe she would have to get to know Therese all over again, regain her trust, win back her heart. Oh, if she only knew that Therese was melting in love for her...

"I'm all ears if you have more to say" Carol whispered, kissing her hand.

"I do but it can wait"

"Therese"

"Yes?"

Carol's hands made a way up from Therese's hands to her neck making both of them to shiver and gasp instantly. Her hands were cold and Therese's neck was warm, her skin slowly burning Carol's skin. A million thoughts passed through her mind. Should they kiss? Should she leave? It was impossible to make a decision with the blonde's fingers stroking her scruff and neck. Carol Aird was so out of her mind as she, Therese, was: panting, shaking and never getting her eyes off the brunette.

"Can I?"

"Please", the brunette wanted to say. "Give me a kiss before I faint"

Therese nodded and when she opened her mouth to formulate a proper response, Carol's lips devoured hers, sucking and nibbing, asking silently for permission to touch her tongue with her own. Therese could only gasp surprised with the feeling of the older woman pulling her hair. She needed this. She missed this so much. She leaned slowly against Carol's body, feeling completely numb, drunk with the flavor of her tongue in her mouth. Their breasts met, their bodies got closer and closer, almost turning into only one. Her shaking pale hands caressed Carol's collarbones and her breast without realizing it; The fabric the blonde was wearing wasn't thin enough for her to feel the curves, and she wished that nothing was between her attentive fingers and the skin of the woman she loved.

"I missed you", Carol whispered against her wet lips, making a way down to her neck. Therese was blushing while Carol was biting her and grabbing her waist with hands full of heat and pressure, exactly like Therese liked. "Oh..." the young couldn't suppress a moan, automatically feeling blood flushing through her face, and hearing it, Carol stopped moving. Her lungs out of control. Her lipstick was everywhere. They looked into each other's eyes, the blonde never letting go off the grab on Therese's waist. So thoughtful, watching every reaction of the woman's body. Their breathing incapable to find a pace. "I want it, believe me" she said against Therese's ear. "But not now"

"Yes"

"I love you"

"I love you" the brunette kissed her forehead, still gasping. "I love you, I love you"


	2. 2

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Carol shows the apartment to Therese and they sleep together; Carol is even more aware of how her lover is different, in a good way for a while.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I'm sorry in advance for any mistake; If you see anything misspelled, please correct me; Hope you enjoy

Carol offered Therese a tour by the apartment and showed her every room: a spacious kitchen with a high counter in the middle of it; a stove with large oven, some kitchen cabinets with few groceries inside; a medium-sized fridge that — Carol said — could be, in the future, filled with all Therese's favorite desserts and beverages. The brunette smiled remembering that once when Carol visited her the only thing her fridge had accommodating was some sausages, some beers and milk, because she really enjoyed a glass of warm milk before bed. 

The bathroom had a bathtub; it was clean and organized, as Carol always used to keep her things. She saw shampoo in one of the shelves in the wall and couldn't help but picture herself and Carol bathing together, because "the bathtub is enough for two", Therese thought, and she rinsing the shampoo off the older woman's hair. She sighed when Carol led her out of the bathroom to the bedroom, the biggest one, with a double bed inside. They looked at each other, Mrs. Aird had a smirk on her face.

"And you sleep in here, I suppose" the brunette said with a playful smile entering the room and observing every inch of the ambience. There was two closed boxes and a big one open with "clothes" written in it; a wardrobe and a small bookshelf made of wood; Carol hadn't unpacked everything yet, but things wasn't unorganized. Anyway, she felt too self-conscious about it.

"I know it's a mess but it's just for a while, okay?" leaning back to the wall in front of Therese, the blonde watched her with a worried look on her face. "I was not expecting you to accept my invitation so, you know," she rubbed her own neck nervously, "I'll organize everything soon"

"Don't be silly, Carol" the other said, coming closer and giving her a quick peck. "You don't have the gramophone anymore?" she asked holding Carol by the waist casually, but the blonde was a little shocked with the way Therese kissed and held her so naturally, so didn't say a word. Therese laughed. "Don't you?"

"What? Oh. Yes. It's still at the old house, my darling"

Therese blushed with the 'my darling'.

"I brought with me just the necessary for the living, for a while, since I'll be buying new furniture soon" she answered now. "By the way, I was supposed to buy it with Abby, because, you know... I didn't expect you to come live with me, at all" she shrugged her shoulders. "Would you like to come with me, right? Presuming that you didn't change your mind and we're going to make this work and..." there was Carol again, stumbling in her own words. Therese pulled her waist and gave her a chaste and quick kiss. 

"Not to be rude but, Carol, baby, if I'm moving in with you... isn't it obvious that we have to buy our furniture together?!" she laughed loud, stroking one of Carol's cheeks. Now the blonde was blushing, her heart almost stopped when Therese said 'our furniture'.

"Just because we didn't have a deep conversation about everything yet, it doesn't means I'm giving you up" 

"Alright"

Carol was still leaned back to the bedroom wall wondering where, why and when Therese turned out to be so spontaneous, not so reclusive and hesitant like she was before. Not that she didn't like it. God, she loved seeing Therese acting the way she felt like it: being either controlled, quiet and enigmatic, or so natural and extroverted when she wanted to. Therese was thinking about how Carol was acting different from what she was used, too. It seemed like they switched personalities. Kind of fun seeing Carol shy. She was never shy. 

The brunette wandered around, observing everything over again because she wanted to save every inch of the house in her mind; trap it there so when she would fell asleep, she could dream of it. "Or maybe I'm already dreaming", Therese said to herself and felt a cold in the belly. She slipped her fingers through the kitchen counter, shivering with the cold from the marble top. She didn't remember when it happened but she realized she was also barefoot. It was a good feeling: to step barefoot the cold floor of her new home, with Carol. And the blonde got out of the room, walked the small hall slowly, crossing her arms and contemplating silently Therese on her own. They still had a lot to talk about, of course, but usually that was how things happened between them: everything used to settle down with a few words but a lot of deep gazes. 

"Aren't you tired, Therese?"

"A little, actually" she said. "But I'm afraid to sleep and end this day"

Carol smiled, getting closer but with the counter between them two. She looked carefully at Therese's eyes and the woman looked back, also thoughtful. She was tired, she could tell by the way Therese's eyelids were moving when she blinked. 

"Would you want a glass of milk?"

"Yes" 

After this, they slept sharing the same bed. The two of them too shy to make a move and get closer, intimate — to cuddle or to have sex. That night Therese took a shower before going to bed and dressed some comfortable clothes Carol lent her; the woman couldn't help but laugh because Therese was adorable on her clothes and they were too big for her. 

Despite silent attempts to not get so close to each other, because none of them were feeling confident enough to do it, in the middle of the night Carol's arms embraced Therese, and even asleep she could feel her body relaxing profoundly with the warmth of her lover's body. Everything smelled like Carol, even herself now. 

When the morning came, the young lady woke up and felt an abrupt cold in her belly, too afraid to open her eyes and find out that it was all a dream. Or worse than that: afraid to find out that it was a nightmare and that Carol left again. 

But she didn't leave. 

Therese heard a yawn in a deep voice behind her back and her heart raced; she almost could feel her myocardium exploding. An alabaster white arm held her waist, caressing her for a second before going up to her head, puting a lock of hair behind the curve of her ear. She sighed. Melted. Inebriated with the smell and the warm breath on her neck. 

"Good morning, my dear" Carol said with a husky morning voice. "Did you sleep well?

"How the hell does she know I'm awake?!", Therese exclaimed in thought, a little shocked that she wasn't dreaming. Trying to process the way Carol said 'my dear' behind her ear and touched her waist. Trying to calm the pace of her heart and lungs. 

"Did I scare you?" the woman next to her asked when noticed that Therese was shaking. Carol kissed Therese's right temple. For a moment she thought she woke up the young one even knowing that Therese used to breathe different when she wasn't sleeping, so she could tell that the brunette was not asleep when she said 'good morning'. 

"No" Therese turned around. "I just can't believe it"

"Me either" was the Carol's response because she could tell exactly what Therese was feeling and thinking just looking into her green eyes. "I thought I would never wake up next to you again"

"I don't know how you do that: you know when I'm already awake; you know exactly what I'm thinking and feeling" Therese confessed, getting lost in Carol's blue eyes. She felt a little closer to her now. Sleeping together drew them closer. "Ugh, you're so annoying" she said playful smiling. "Good morning, by the way" 

"I don't know what happened while we were apart but I like it. You sound different, you know that?" Carol said and Therese blushed, she knew what the blonde was talking about. "I mean, you're always blushing but you're not hesitating anymore; I love that. I love you"

"I love you too"

"You really blossomed. I think that working at the Times made you good"

"I agree"

"I know you're not the talking kind but I really appreciate the way you now say what you think without thinking twice"

"I'm like this just with you"

Carol smiled to her. She kissed her forehead and sat up to get out of the bed. Therese didn't say anything. She didn't need to. Actually, she felt satisfied and understood because she really changed. Her friends were always telling her that, saying that she didn't look like the old Therese anymore, but when Carol did it hits different. And it felt good.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> If you read it, thank you! Hope you liked

**Author's Note:**

> hope you enjoyed :) let me now if I wrote something wrong so I'll improve. thanks
> 
> (you can hit me on tumblr, cxteblanchett)


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